Cable prepares a grenade. Wade falls off of his stool. RUSSELL: Watch my back. REPORTER: And to update you on the story reported earlier, after a lengthy standoff outside the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation, two mutants were arrested and transported to the Ice Box. Cut back to Cable and Deadpool fighting orderlies, and then back to Domino. Deadpool: You did. CABLE: She always struggled. Establishing shot of the taxi going down a road. But I do know how to hug you. They begin making out. WADE: I'm gonna shower and get out of this suit. Deadpool fights a number of men in a garage. Papa can you find me in the night? So we can go after him without me. I'm dying in this one, too. He turns, throwing the cream cheese spreader. Born Today. That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. Colossus moves to remove the collar from Deadpool. DEADPOOL: Well, I'm not even gonna attempt that. CABLE: There's one bullet left in that gun. In front of him lay the charred corpses of his wife and daughter, along with his daughter’s burnt teddy bear. Oh, yeah. Deadpool explains the plan to the group in the back room of the bar. You just… You guys stay there. Cable pulls out his fanny pack. Russell sits at the other end of the table. WADE: You're not giving me a lot of direction here. JUGGERNAUT: I'm gonna rip you in half now. WADE: Don't try to chase me. We're here. Cable enters through the hole in the wall. Kevin with a "K"! And I'm an X-Man. Ryan Reynolds : You're in the big leagues now, kid!Deadpool :You're welcome, Canada. "Deadpool : Don't want to.Dopinder : When Tom Cruise fed 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood for the first time. Oh, Pool, picture me, a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst. Quotes . What's your poison? Deadpool looks up from the carnage. Oh! Fuck! Cable: No, I didn't. DEADPOOL: Okay. Colossus! But this kid does. Give us the line again. DEADPOOL: Oh, shit. DEADPOOL: And that is why you never eat a raw starfish. Inside the X-Mansion, Colossus reads the X-Men manual. Cut to a shot of below the bar. Russell burns Cable’s arm. Wade? CABLE: Peacetime makes people soft. But in this film, well, you're looking at it. Wade inaudibly mouths, “Please,” repeatedly, then, “Baby, I’m so sorry,” and finally, “No!” The microwave oven timer dings. I don't have one. I'm not going anywhere without you. And, believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. VANESSA: I know. SYSTEM: Cells seven and nine now off-limits for medical personnel. Black Tom hits his cell door. Cable shoves his hand in Deadpool’s face. Wade Wilson : And nobody fucking realizes it. I have one right now. Promise me one thing. Cut to Wade. You're ruining everything! Cable and Deadpool continue fighting. Bred into it. In comes back down and lands in one of the barrels, causing them to explode. AL: Listen to the pain. You picked the wrong shithole to fuck, future boy. Wade tackles Cable and tries to take the gun from him. Thor 411. Some men enter. Just ask anyone in Brooklyn. He winds up a music box and places it on his desk. The one in Minneapolis. RUSSELL: I had so much fun! Right next to a huge, steaming bowl of foreshadowing. Cut to outside. Russell sits down. Colossus attempts to grab a nearby exposed wire. Deadpool : Cable, you get back to your family and you tell them Wade says hi. Deadpool : I don't know how to thank you, but I do know how to hug you.Cable : No.Deadpool :Yes. Cable looks at he grenade and puts his shield up. But we can't really live till we've died a little, can we? He begins walking. We can take it from here. The fight for a moment. Hey! WADE: Yup. Cable fires. Wade narrates. Cut back inside the truck, Domino dispatches the driver and takes control of the truck. “Tomorrow” by Aileen Quinn begins playing. You used the last of your fuel. DEADPOOL: Let's meet in the middle and say, "No, it isn't.". REDNECK 2: I'mma tell you what the big lie is. The officer tentatively raises his hand. You have a good heart. Russell's gonna burn down that orphanage. He's doing it. Well, guess what, Wolvie? Not in prison. WADE: What am I supposed to do around here, anyway? It's too stripper-y. Oh fuck it, I'll do it myself... Hey, big guy, the sun's getting real low. WADE: Of course I fucking would! First off, I'm not even a virgin. People nobody would touch. This kid needs to be in the Ice Box, not here. Because of me, he's gonna know what real love looks like. Deadpool groans and rolls over. I told you I care about you. Back in the present, Cable drinks a can of beer. DOMINO: Everyone. WADE: So weird. He's dead, too. Dopinder enters through the back carrying some boxes. We see a shot of the convoy. COLOSSUS: I should have left you in the self-pitying mess I found you in. It's your cosmic reason for being here. Now I'm talked about in the same sentence as Jesus. DEADPOOL: That is such a Juggernaut thing to say. Deadpool steals a woman’s scooter and rides away. What coked-out, glass pipe-sucking freakshow comic book artist came up with that little chestnut? More cell doors open, including Wade and Russell’s. Cut back to the others. I'm going to burn that headmaster alive. [1] She jumps when he sits up, and he shushes her. Deadpool : Rules were meant to be brokenColossus : That's the exact opposite of what they're meant for! Papa, are you near me? DEADPOOL: Sugarbear. Deadpool crashes his scooter into a taxi, sending him flying towards the convoy, which he narrowly misses. WEASEL: I'm sorry. Negasonic looks shocked. Besides, I will never, ever let our child be named Todd. Oh, God, time out! Vanessa sits in a chair. The crowd cheers. Fuck! It was performed by Barbra Streisand for the original film. Deadpool is playing the music on a small boombox. Domino lands in traffic and begins walking. DEADPOOL: You time-sliding son of a bitch! Wander the Earth-. DOMINO: Your legs, though, they're cute. He takes the men by surprise, killing them one by one. WADE: Yeah, he's got anger issues. We hope you enjoyed reading our collection of Wade Wilson quotes. It's just not now. PETER: I hate to interrupt, but is anybody nervous about the high winds? DEADPOOL: Ah, there they are. Where does it burn? CABLE: So he keeps killing, and killing, and killing, and killing. The children cheer. Cut to Domino continuing to fight the orderlies. From off screen, Dopinder drives the taxi straight into the headmaster, killing him instantly. DEADPOOL: You're a goddamn superhero, you! Why shit in it? Just the fist, or all the way up to the elbow? An alarm starts blaring. Yeah. Yeah, you got them all. Doing the right thing is sometimes messy and fucked up, and not particularly convenient! He's very short, 5'11". DEADPOOL: Those guys hurt you? WADE: Wait. All I remember is he was African-American. It's nice to see some fresh faces around here. What do those do anyway, huh? Doesn't make any sense. DEADPOOL: How in the fuck are you in already? So, I'm here to help us gear up. I guess Stryker finally figured out how to shut you up. Deadpool backs into the taxi, struggling for a moment to find the door handle. Russell climbs out. I didn't lie what kind of film this was. The group begins walking away. DEADPOOL: Huh. So you’re looking for Deadpool quotes? CABLE: I've got a list. Don't do it. He jumps out of his window and lands near Sergei on a car in an alley. Deadpool puts Bedlam’s picture on a wall. DEADPOOL: Russell. GUARD: Back in your cells, you filthy mutants! And trust me, I'm even less happy about this than you are. There was a bunch of handicapable children stuck in a tree. Go on, you're doing it. Deadpool : No, you did it for me. I was born into war. Buck catches him. WADE: It's always just you and Negasonic Teenage Longest Name Ever... Colossus grabs Wade, stopping the chair. Deadpool: You did it for me. Her name's Hope. Maybe even Black Tim. The timer dings. Bad news is the whole team is dead. The camera pans up from an alley to a building. There it is.Deadpool : Oh, that's the sun. I know it's called a Sea Breeze. VANESSA: What about Krystal? Did you feel that, too? WEASEL: I'll tell you why I'm here. I'm in so much pain. Cut back inside to Domino. WADE: Oh. So you're from the future? Peter puts on sunscreen. It's not gonna be one number. Then, I'm gonna take his skin and stretch it out over a homemade mating drum. WADE: More importantly, I liked her. He takes out the windshield. DEADPOOL: I was a soldier. Justin Bieber. WADE: What the fuck? Deadpool runs to the taxi, followed by the large group of men, and leaps through the window. Domino. WADE: Sorry I'm late. Russell watches Wade on the ground in pain. DEADPOOL: No! Colossus holds his hands up to his nose and says something in Russian. He's gonna go straight to jail if we name him Earl. One: is dubstep still a thing? Cable and Deadpool continue fighting. DEADPOOL: Am I getting catfished here or...? I'm sticking my neck out bringing you here! I have three questions then. Cut to Deadpool laying down on some barrels of gasoline and continuing to smoke. As he goes to kill Wade, Russell stabs Cable with the pen. WADE: I don't know. I never should've left you there. She kicks one in the crotch. Wade’s collar appears to be malfunctioning. Deadpool walks through his apartment. Cut back to the table. Got bad guy blood, right in my open eye. This is for all the marbles, kid! Come on. Terrific, these are all terrific. [narrating after attempting suicide by blowing himself up] FUCK Wolverine! He looks over at the maximum security area. I'm not X-Man material. A lighter clinks. No, I can feel it now. He's standing right behind you, isn't he? Russell's not gonna kill anyone. Cable accidentally shoots him in the face. That's genuine, high-grade lead. She's not coming back. DEADPOOL: Uh, that's a negative, sole survivor. RUSSELL: Tomorrow, we'll find the biggest guy in here, and we'll make him our bi-. We got no brakes! DEADPOOL: Convoy, 12 o'clock! Cable : Dubstep's for pussies!Wade Wilson : You're so dark. Here we go. DEADPOOL: A few moments, doing the ugly stuff no one else will do. Besides, we're X-Men. Left! Cable’s wife and daughter begin to run. WADE: The last thing I need is more hepatitis. DEADPOOL: I'd rather die of cancer. RUSSELL: When was the last time you saw a plus-sized superhero? WADE: I wonder what gang I'll be in. You get the strap-on, and let's make a superbaby.Vanessa : Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try. DEADPOOL: Tell me they got that in slow motion. The longer I travel, the harder it is to control. Cut to Wade in a hazy version of his apartment. A stripper is revealed to be Deadpool. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got tumors to grow. Domino is still in the air, following it. Juggernaut throws Colossus around. RUSSELL: I wanted to be a superhero. So thank you. Fun fact about the Ice Box, though no one's ever seen it, they keep a monster in the basement. DOMINO: I need a bus to get you all out of here. You get back to your family. I can't bring him down alone. Fucker can't stay in a panic room forever. He's just a kid! NEGASONIC: Give him a chance. DEADPOOL: And you're my Kristen Dunst! Russell sets his food tray down and slides in under the door. Maybe I can get you out of here. Is it just me, or does “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” from Frozen sound suspiciously like “Papa, Can You Hear Me?” From Yentl? DEADPOOL: Oh, my God! I'm asking you to save hundreds of other kids. Cable: No, I'm positive I didn't. The No Country for Old Men star portrays Marvel villain Cable in the sequel to 2016's Deadpool, and throughout the movie, Ryan's titular character pokes fun at the similarities between the Oscar-nominated tune Papa, Can You Hear Me? He's unstoppable. Cut to Juggernaut picking up the bus. There's a time for us. DEADPOOL: I'll take a cranberry-grapefruit vodka. That's right, Bedlam! DEADPOOL: Hang the laundry out at 1,300 feet. And I didn't do it for you. Russell throws a fireball at the doors of the building the headmaster is hiding in, blowing the doors away. They should've just amputated it. And like a lot of dicks, he's as hard as a rock, and causes nothing but problems! DEADPOOL: I'm only yelling to impress the other guys. Wait, you can't go back. I can hear you rummaging around in there. DEADPOOL: Hey! Cable pulls his gun back out of Wade’s arms and fires at the ceiling, knocking down a large metal structure. Cut to a record player in his apartment. COLOSSUS: I'm not giving up on you, and you are not giving up on that boy. Wade Wilson : I loved her. Yeah. Wade runs over to her. Just keep looking, okay? DEADPOOL: What coked out, glass pipe-sucking freakshow comic book artist came up with that little chestnut? They turn to see the prisoner exit his cell. Cut to shots of the convoy exiting the Ice Box. Cut to Deadpool. I just love being around you guys so much. Some kind of soldier? Vanessa sits nearby. As they leave, Juggernaut gets up in the background. WADE: Papa, can you hear me? Oh, come on. One of the bullets ricochets and dislodges a gas canister. Something that was not meant to bend. If you find a type 3, let us know. Russell runs towards them. He begins counting them. Deadpool flashes a thumbs up to the pilots.